Divorce Doesn’t Need to be Destructive…

kmathes

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My Women Belong circle has been a great source of strength and support during 2020.  I’ve been grateful for our on-going connection and the generosity that professional referrals represent to me and my practice. Though I miss the in-person meetings I am appreciative of the virtual inter-connections that we have devised this year.  Staying connected as we have done has been a true blessing.

Every day I work with clients undertaking divorce around the Chicagoland area.  And every day I think about how each divorce is different and how each couple has specific needs that must be addressed through the process.  Sometimes people are surprised when I tell them that, conservatively, 50-60% of the calls I receive from people looking to initiate divorce are from women.  Women seeking divorce often want to gain an initial understanding of what strategy they should take.  As a member of Women Belong, I want to always be a resource to our members.  While I do not work exclusively with women seeking a divorce, I do understand the issues that women face when considering divorce.

Divorce is rarely easy.  Yet there are options, and it is possible that one approach might be better for a couple than another.  Though there are definitely different ways to get divorced, three stand out as worthwhile options to consider.  Which one is right for you and your spouse?  It depends on your circumstances.

  1. A traditional litigated divorce the form of marriage dissolution that most people are familiar with. Each spouse retains legal counsel and the two “teams” work through the negotiation of the dissolution of the marriage.  Some of the proceedings take place in a courtroom before a judge who decides the various factors that need to be considered.  Often this is the best choice when one, or both of the spouses is struggling with the notion of the divorce, refuses to consider alternative dispute resolution options, like mediation or collaborative process, or when physical or psychological abuse is present. Sometimes one spouse is in denial about the prospect of divorce and the only way through the process is by using traditional litigation. Sometimes the spouses are unable to make the decisions and need the judge to decide. A litigated divorce is always an available option if other, gentler approaches are not suitable.

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