I. Why Women Should Consider Collaborative Divorce: Alleviating Financial Fears

Divorce can be an emotionally charged and financially challenging experience, particularly for women who often face unique financial concerns during this time. One solution which has been gaining traction in recent years is collaborative divorce. This process emphasizes cooperation, negotiation, and transparency to create an equitable outcome for all parties involved.

Collaborative divorce involves both members of the couple working together with their respective lawyers and possibly a neutral financial professional to reach an agreement on the division of assets, debts, and other financial aspects of the divorce process. This method encourages open communication and prioritizes creating a fair settlement over adversarial litigation. By opting for a collaborative divorce, women can better address the financial fears and challenges that they often face during the divorce process.

Key Takeaways

• Collaborative divorce promotes cooperation and negotiation for a fair settlement.
• This process emphasizes financial transparency, allowing both parties to make informed decisions.
• Collaborative divorce can particularly benefit women in securing financial stability post-divorce.

II. Understanding Collaborative Divorce

A. Explanation of What Collaborative Divorce Is

Collaborative divorce is an alternative dispute resolution process focusing on a mutually respectful and cooperative approach to resolving divorce issues. In this process, both spouses and their respective attorneys work together to resolve their differences without resorting to litigation. The team may include a neutral financial specialist and a divorce coach to provide additional support and guidance.

B. Brief History of Its Emergence

Collaborative divorce emerged in the 1990s as a response to the traditional adversarial nature of divorce litigation. The process was developed by Minnesota family lawyer Stu Webb, who believed that a more cooperative and less contentious approach to divorce could better serve the needs of all parties involved.

C. Comparison with Traditional Litigation

In traditional divorce litigation, both parties are represented by attorneys who advocate for their clients in court. This process often leads to an adversarial atmosphere, as both parties fight to win the case and secure their best possible outcome. On the other hand, collaborative divorce focuses on problem-solving and open communication to reach a mutually beneficial agreement. The following table compares some key aspects of collaborative divorce and traditional litigation:

Aspect	Collaborative Divorce	Traditional Litigation
Cost	Often less expensive	Can be costly
Time	Flexible timeline	Court-imposed deadlines
Privacy	Confidential negotiations	Public court proceedings
Control	Parties control outcome	Judge determines outcome
Relationships	Encourages cooperation	Can strain relationships

Collaborative divorce can help alleviate financial fears for women by fostering a more cooperative approach, allowing for the negotiation of fair financial settlements. By avoiding traditional litigation’s costly and adversarial nature, a collaborative divorce process often ends with a more satisfactory and equitable resolution for both parties.

Footnotes

1. Collaborative Divorce – SurviveDivorce.com
2. Why Consider a Collaborative Divorce? – Psychology Today
3. What is Collaborative Divorce? – Lawyers.com
4. The Pros and Cons of the Collaborative Divorce Process – DivorceMag.com

III. The Shift from Adversarial Litigation to Collaborative Divorce

In recent years, there has been a significant shift from adversarial litigation toward collaborative divorce. This change is especially beneficial for women with financial concerns during divorce. Collaborative divorce is an alternative dispute resolution method that focuses on negotiation and problem-solving, aiming to reach a settlement that suits both parties without going to court.

One of the main reasons for this shift is the recognition that adversarial litigation often exacerbates the financial and emotional strain on the divorcing couple and their families. Collaborative divorce offers a more cost-effective and emotionally supportive approach. Parties work with their respective attorneys and other professionals like financial advisors and mental health professionals to find mutually acceptable solutions for asset division, spousal support, child custody, and other issues.

In collaborative divorce, negotiation takes center stage. Each party is represented by a collaborative attorney, who helps their client identify and communicate their needs and interests. The collaborative attorneys and parties attend a series of meetings to address each issue and develop a solid plan for moving forward. This process minimizes conflict and supports a less adversarial environment, ultimately leading to a more amicable settlement.

In addition to negotiation, collaborative divorce often incorporates a mediation approach– a voluntary process in which a neutral third-party mediator facilitates communication and the resolution of disputes. Mediation can address financial concerns by offering a less expensive path toward resolving monetary disputes and developing financial plans. Collaborative attorneys and collaborative professionals are trained as mediators and they bring those mediation skills to the collaborative divorce process.

Collaborative divorce helps alleviate financial fears in several ways. In contrast to litigation, this process is generally quicker and less costly, reducing legal fees. Furthermore, collaborative teams can assist in budgeting and financial planning, helping women address immediate and long-term financial needs.

Ultimately, the shift from adversarial litigation to collaborative divorce represents a significant change in how legal professionals approach the divorce process. By focusing on communication, negotiation, and an interdisciplinary approach, collaborative divorce offers a more practical and financially sensitive option that can be particularly beneficial for women experiencing financial concerns.

IV. Financial Transparency in Collaborative Divorce

A. Encouraging Financial Transparency

An important aspect of collaborative divorce is the emphasis on financial transparency. Both parties are encouraged to share information about their assets and debts openly, facilitating a clearer understanding of the financial situation and can help alleviate financial fears. This approach allows each spouse to comprehensively view the marital estate and work together to reach a fair and equitable division.

By fostering an atmosphere of honesty, full disclosure, and cooperation, collaborative divorce can minimize the risks of hidden assets or attempts to conceal financial information, ultimately leading to a more equitable distribution of assets and debts and increased financial security for both parties.

B. Role of Financial Professionals

In a collaborative divorce, a neutral financial specialist often becomes an essential part of the process. Their role is to analyze the couple’s assets and debts, help both parties understand their financial situation, and offer guidance in making informed decisions about property division, child support, and spousal support.

The financial neutral works as a mediator and ensures that both spouses’ financial interests are addressed fairly and transparently. With their expertise, they can identify potential tax implications, evaluate the value of assets, and provide long-term financial planning guidance. By engaging a neutral financial specialist, couples can ensure that their financial concerns are addressed, making the divorce process less stressful and more predictable.

C. Case Example

Consider a couple with many assets, including real estate, retirement accounts, and various investments. During their collaborative divorce process, they enlist the help of a neutral financial specialist to ensure financial transparency and equitable distribution.

The financial specialist first assists in disclosing all relevant financial information, helping both parties understand their rights and obligations concerning their assets and debts. Then, they work with the couple to explore various property division options, considering factors such as tax implications, the liquidity of certain assets, and each party’s individual financial needs and goals.

By incorporating financial transparency and utilizing the expertise of a neutral financial specialist in their collaborative divorce, the couple can work together to establish a secure financial future for themselves and any children involved, reducing the overall stress and uncertainty commonly associated with divorce proceedings.

V. Empowerment and Informed Decisions

A. Empowering Women through Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce allows both parties to work together to resolve disputes and make informed decisions about their future. This process can empower women, encouraging a more active role in decision-making. Instead of being overwhelmed by fear and uncertainty, women can gain confidence and control by participating in a collaborative divorce process. This approach also facilitates a supportive environment where women can openly discuss their concerns, income, and financial goals with a team of qualified professionals, such as neutral financial specialists and divorce coaches¹.

B. Types of Financial Decisions

Various financial decisions must be made during a collaborative divorce, such as dividing assets and liabilities, child support, and spousal support arrangements. Here are some critical financial aspects to consider:

• Income: Evaluating and disclosing each spouse’s income is an essential data point to determine equitable child and spousal support.
• Retirement accounts: The division of retirement accounts, such as 401(k)s, IRAs, or pensions, can significantly impact each spouse’s long-term financial stability.
• Decision-making: Collaborative divorce allows both parties to participate actively in financial decision-making, promoting fairness and transparency.

C. Long-Term Impact on Women’s Financial Stability

The collaborative divorce process can positively impact women’s financial stability by allowing them to address their financial fears and make informed decisions about their future. By working with a neutral financial specialist and a divorce coach, women can better understand their financial situation and receive guidance on how to achieve a stable future. This process also allows for the equitable division of assets, including retirement accounts, to help ensure a secure financial future for both parties,

Footnotes

1. What is Collaborative Divorce, and is it right for you?
2. The Pros and Cons of the Collaborative Divorce Process

VI. Benefits of Collaborative Divorce for Women’s Financial Stability

A. Control over the Process

One of the main benefits of collaborative divorce for women’s financial stability is the level of control they have over the process. Collaborative divorce involves direct input from both parties and their respective legal representatives, which allows for more equitable negotiations and decision-making. This collaborative approach ensures that financial concerns, such as the allocation of assets and liabilities, are addressed fairly and transparently.

Good communication between the parties is essential in collaborative divorce, as it helps to promote an atmosphere of trust and cooperation. This can provide significant relief for women apprehensive about their financial future following a high-conflict divorce.

B. Reduced Stress and Fair Outcomes

Collaborative divorce generally reduces stress for women, as the process aims for fair outcomes rather than pitting both parties against each other. In traditional divorce proceedings, stress can be exacerbated by aggressive litigation tactics, negatively impacting both parties’ financial matters. In contrast, the collaborative approach allows for a more level playing field, helping to create more equitable and fair financial solutions.

A key factor in this process is the involvement of financial professionals, who can assist women in understanding their financial situation and the potential outcomes of the divorce. Through the guidance of these experts and the open communication encouraged by the collaborative process, women can feel more confident and knowledgeable about their financial futures, alleviating the financial fears often associated with divorce.

VII. Case Study

A. Real-Life Example

In a recent collaborative divorce case, Jane and John, a couple in their mid-40s with two children, decided to end their marriage. They agreed to prioritize their children’s well-being and secure a fair financial settlement for both parties. To achieve this, they opted for the collaborative divorce process.

Through open communication and transparency, Jane and John worked alongside attorneys, a mental health professional, and a financial neutral. Their financial neutrality provided unbiased advice and helped the couple understand the financial implications of their decisions.

B. Analysis of the Case Study

The inclusion of a financial neutral in this collaborative divorce allowed Jane and John to:

• Identify their financial interests, including saving for their children’s college education and purchasing new homes.
• Gain a clear understanding of their assets and liabilities for a reasonable property division.
• Understand tax implications of their settlement agreement.
• Create a workable budget for each post-divorce, considering their incomes, expenses, and future financial goals.
• Develop a child support and alimony plan that addressed both of their concerns and ensured the well-being of their children.

This case study showcases the benefits of collaborative divorce, particularly for women who may have financial fears during the divorce process. By involving financial neutrality and maintaining open communication, this method aids in achieving an equitable division of assets, addressing future financial plans, and mitigating the family’s negative impact.

VIII. Conclusion

In collaborative divorce, both spouses work with a legal team and other professionals to agree on terms such as financial settlements and child custody arrangements. This approach has shown to be particularly beneficial for women seeking to maintain financial stability during and after the divorce. Instead of engaging in a costly and adversarial legal battle, collaborative divorce fosters a cooperative environment that focuses on developing solutions tailored to the needs of all family members.

The involvement of financial professionals in the collaborative divorce process is crucial to ensure fair and sustainable financial outcomes. They can help both parties understand their current financial situation, explore different options, and design a financial plan for the future. By doing so, women can feel more confident in their financial decisions and better prepare to establish a stable economic foundation following the divorce.

In summary, women looking to alleviate financial fears during a divorce should consider a collaborative divorce. This approach fosters cooperation and respect between both parties and ensures a more comprehensive understanding of their finances. By actively shaping their financial future, women can navigate the process with a sense of empowerment, clarity, and security.

Introduction

Divorce can be a costly and emotionally draining process. When considering a divorce in Illinois, it’s important to understand the financial implications and explore alternative options that may be more affordable. One such option is mediation, which offers a collaborative approach to resolving disputes and can potentially save couples both time and money. In this article, we will delve into the cost of divorce in Illinois, discuss the benefits of mediation, and explore whether it is a more affordable option for couples seeking to end their marriage amicably.

The Cost of Divorce in Illinois

Divorce proceedings can vary significantly in terms of cost depending on various factors, such as the case’s complexity, the presence of children, and the level of conflict between the parties involved. For example, in Illinois, the average cost of divorce ranges from $10,000 to $20,000 or more, with high-conflict cases potentially exceeding these estimates

Factors Affecting Divorce Costs in Illinois

1. Attorney Fees
2. Court Filing Fees
3. Child Custody and Support Matters
4. Division of Assets and Debts
5. Alimony or Spousal Maintenance
6. Mediation and Collaborative Divorce

Is Mediation a More Affordable Option?

Mediation offers an alternative to traditional litigation by providing a cooperative and facilitated process for couples to reach a mutually agreeable resolution. Let’s explore why mediation may be a more affordable option for divorcing couples in Illinois.

Reduced Attorney Fees

In mediation, couples work together with a neutral mediator to reach a resolution, which can significantly reduce the need for extensive attorney involvement. As a result, attorney fees are often lower in mediation compared to contentious litigated divorces. According to an article by Divorce Magazine, the cost savings associated with reduced attorney fees can make mediation a more affordable option for couples.

Cost-effective Conflict Resolution

Mediation focuses on open communication and problem-solving, allowing couples to address their concerns and negotiate settlements without costly court battles. By avoiding protracted legal proceedings, couples can save a substantial amount of money. The American Bar Association states that mediation can lead to cost savings by reducing the time spent in court and associated legal fees.

Efficient Process

Mediation typically takes less time than a traditional divorce, as couples have more control over the process and can work at their own pace. By avoiding lengthy court proceedings and the associated delays, couples can reach a resolution more quickly and reduce the overall cost of divorce. The Illinois State Bar Association highlights the efficiency of mediation in resolving disputes compared to traditional litigation.

Shared Expenses

In a collaborative divorce, couples may choose to share the cost of certain expenses, such as hiring a single financial expert or appraiser. This cooperative approach can further reduce costs compared to individual hiring in adversarial divorces. According to the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, shared expenses in collaborative divorce can lead to cost savings for both parties.

Case Studies: Traditional Litigation vs. Collaborative Divorce/Mediation

Let’s examine two case studies to provide a practical perspective on the cost difference between traditional litigation and collaborative divorce or mediation.

Case Study 1: Traditional Litigation

John and Jane, a couple divorcing, opted for traditional litigation. The case involved:

• A high level of conflict.
• Requiring multiple court appearances.
• Extensive attorney involvement.
• Expert witnesses.

The process took over two years to reach a resolution, resulting in substantial legal fees and court costs. As a result, the total cost of the divorce exceeded $30,000.

Case Study 2: Collaborative Divorce/Mediation

Sarah and Michael, another couple seeking a divorce, chose to pursue collaborative divorce and mediation. They were committed to working together to find mutually agreeable solutions and minimize conflict. With the help of a mediator, they were able to reach a resolution within six months. The collaborative approach allowed them to share expenses, such as hiring a financial expert, resulting in lower costs compared to individual hiring in a litigated divorce. The total cost of their divorce was around $15,000, significantly less than the traditional litigation case study.

These case studies highlight the potential cost savings of opting for collaborative divorce or mediation. By choosing a cooperative approach and focusing on effective communication and problem-solving, couples can avoid prolonged court battles and significantly reduce their overall expenses.

It’s important to note that each divorce case is unique, and the costs can vary depending on various factors. The case studies provided are for illustrative purposes only and do not reflect the exact costs of every divorce.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What is mediation in the context of divorce? Mediation is a voluntary process where a neutral third party, known as a mediator, facilitates discussions between divorcing couples to help them reach agreements on various aspects of their divorce, such as child custody, property division, and support.
2. How does mediation differ from traditional litigation? Unlike traditional litigation, mediation encourages open communication and cooperation between the parties involved. It allows couples more control over decision-making and work towards mutually beneficial solutions.
3. Is mediation suitable for high-conflict divorces? While mediation can be challenging in high-conflict cases, it is still possible with the help of an experienced mediator. The mediator creates a safe and structured environment for productive discussions, even in difficult situations.
4. Does mediation guarantee a fair outcome for both parties? Mediation aims to facilitate fair and equitable agreements by ensuring that both parties have an equal opportunity to express their concerns and needs. The mediator helps facilitate negotiations to reach an acceptable resolution for both parties.
5. Can mediation save money in terms of attorney fees? Yes, mediation can help save money on attorney fees. By reducing the need for extensive attorney involvement, couples can significantly lower their legal expenses and make the divorce process more affordable.
6. Is mediation legally binding?

Mediation itself is not legally binding. However, once couples reach agreements through mediation, those agreements can be formalized and submitted to the court for approval. Once approved, these agreements become legally binding and enforceable. Therefore, consulting with an attorney is essential to ensure that any agreements reached in mediation meet the legal requirements and protect your rights.

Conclusion

Divorce can be a costly endeavor, both financially and emotionally. However, in Illinois, couples can pursue mediation and collaborative divorce as more affordable alternatives to traditional litigation. Mediation offers numerous benefits, including reduced attorney fees, cost-effective conflict resolution, an efficient process, and the opportunity for shared expenses. Couples can navigate the divorce process more cooperatively and amicably by choosing mediation, ultimately saving time and money.

Remember, divorce is a complex legal process, and seeking professional advice tailored to your unique situation is crucial. Consider consulting with a qualified mediator or attorney specializing in family law to explore the best options for your needs.

Need a Family Law Attorney in Illinois? Choose Anna P. Krolikowska “Anna K”.

As a litigator, trained mediator, and a collaborative professional, Anna K can offer diverse and creative approaches to resolving marital disputes. Whether through negotiation, mediation, or litigation, Anna K is committed to finding the best path forward for each client.

You can call her at 847-715-9328 or via email at anna@annaklaw.com to schedule an appointment. Remember, choosing the right attorney is critical in ensuring a successful outcome in your case. With Anna K, you’ll have a strong advocate who will fight for your best interests every step of the way.

Anna Krolikowska, a seasoned Illinois family law attorney with years of experience navigating the intricacies of divorce, shares her unique insights in this new blog article. Unveiling common pitfalls, she outlines the three biggest mistakes she’s observed husbands make during the divorce process. By shedding light on these areas, Anna provides invaluable advice to help individuals avoid these potential roadblocks and move forward more smoothly. It’s a must-read for anyone navigating the complexities of divorce, seeking a clearer understanding of the process, and striving for the best possible outcome.

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Are you considering divorce but unsure about the different options available to you? Experienced Illinois family law attorney, Anna Krolikowska, has written a new blog article outlining the three main ways to get divorced and how to prepare for each. Whether you’re considering mediation, collaborative divorce, or traditional litigation, this article will provide valuable insight to help you make the best decision for your unique situation. With Anna’s guidance, you can approach your divorce with confidence and a clear understanding of your options.

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Divorce doesn’t have to destroy families or empty bank accounts. When couples approach it with intention and care, things can look a lot different.

A healthy divorce is all about open communication, choosing the right legal path, and prioritising kids’ well-being—while still protecting everyone’s financial interests.

The key? Understanding which strategies actually work, and spotting the mistakes that can turn a peaceful split into a nightmare.

Couples starting divorce proceedings in 2025 face new challenges that didn’t exist just a few years ago. Navigating a divorce takes open communication, emotional awareness, and a mindset focused on the future.

The choices couples make early on—such as choosing collaborative divorce or mediation over litigation, or establishing clear financial boundaries—shape not only the outcome but also how families operate for years afterward.

Key Takeaways

• A healthy divorce begins with the right legal approach and respectful communication.
• Financial transparency and solid child-focused planning prevent most future conflicts.
• Recognising safety issues and managing the timeline can cut down on trauma and costs.

What Is A “Healthy Divorce” In Practice?

A healthy divorce centers on clear communication, mutual respect, and protecting everyone’s long-term interests. Most couples fare better when they keep their divorce process private and collaborative, rather than public and combative.

Hallmarks: Clarity, Civility, Transparency, Future Focus

A healthy divorce process needs open communication and teamwork from both sides. Spouses share financial information honestly and discuss their needs openly, without hiding assets.

Clarity means both people understand what’s coming—the process, the timelines, and the decisions ahead. They jointly agree on a divorce process, for example collaborative divorce or mediation, know what decisions they need to make, which documents they need and when court dates happen.

Civility is about basic respect. Couples skip the name-calling, threats, and using kids as messengers.

Transparency calls for complete honesty about finances, debts, and property. Both provide complete bank statements, tax returns, and asset info—no one should have to keep asking.

A future focus helps couples stay focused on long-term goals instead of rehashing old pain. Decisions get made based on what’s best for the family’s future, especially for the kids.

Private Vs. Public Processes (Why Privacy Helps)

No-fault divorce laws let couples end a marriage without proving anyone did anything wrong. That opens the door to private resolution methods, which avoid public court battles.

Private processes—like mediation, collaborative divorce, and negotiated settlements—keep personal details out of court records. Couples get more control over their outcomes this way.

Public court processes sometimes become necessary if couples can’t agree on big issues. Even then, some privacy is possible with sealed documents or closed hearings.

Privacy shields kids from having family details made public. It also lets both spouses move on without their story living online forever.

Private approaches usually cost less and conclude more quickly than drawn-out court cases. Couples can fit meetings around their own schedules instead of waiting for a court date.

Anna K Law offers Collaborative Divorce with agenda-driven sessions and clear next steps that protect privacy and progress. Contact us to schedule your consultation.

Pick The Right Path: Mediation Vs Collaborative Vs Litigation

Choosing the right divorce path means figuring out who makes the final call, how private things will be, what professional help you’ll have, what the costs will be, and what happens if talks fall apart. 

Each route offers a different structure for both contested and uncontested cases.

Factor	Mediation	Collaborative	Litigation
Decision-Maker	Spouses decide together with the mediator’s guidance	Spouses decide with attorney support	The judge makes final decisions
Privacy	Completely private process	Private team-based approach	Public court records
Neutrals	One neutral mediator	Team of neutral professionals	Court-appointed experts, if needed
Cost/Time	Potentially lowest cost, fastest timeline but will require additional cost if attorneys advising or preparing legal documents	Moderate cost, structured timeline	Highest cost, longest timeline
If Talks Fail	Can move to litigation	Must start over with new attorneys	Already in the court system

Mediation is ideal when both parties can communicate respectfully and are willing to save money. The mediator helps them reach agreements, but doesn’t have the power to force anything.

Collaborative divorce gives more structure, with each spouse working with their own family law attorney. Professional teams typically include financial and mental health experts from the outset.

Litigation comes into play when couples can’t agree or when one person just won’t negotiate. In that case, a judge decides property, kids, and support issues.

Communication style and trust are key factors in determining the best fit. High-conflict situations usually need the structure of litigation, even if it’s not what anyone wants.

Five Core Habits That Keep Conflict Low

Clear structure and simple communication rules keep negotiations focused on practical solutions—not old arguments. 

Short, agenda-driven meetings, “listen-then-summarize” replies, written next steps, and a cooling-off plan help reduce misunderstandings and keep both parents steady for the kids.

1) Meet with an agenda—and timebox it

Set 3–5 priorities before each session and assign a time limit to each. Short, frequent meetings (60–90 minutes) outperform marathon sessions and prevent spirals.

2) Use the “listen-then-summarize” rule

Before you respond, briefly restate what you heard—then add your point. This lowers defensiveness, catches misreads early, and maintains a respectful tone.

3) Decide between sessions (homework + deadlines)

End every meeting with a written action list that outlines who is responsible for what and by when. Bring documents and answers next time so momentum continues.

4) Park hot topics instead of forcing them

If a topic becomes heated, move it to a “parking lot” for later—after you’ve cooled down, gathered facts, or involved a neutral party (such as a coach/financial advisor).

5) Document agreements in plain English

Capture draft language live (screen-share if possible). Confirm dollars, dates, and duties before you adjourn, and schedule the next session on the spot.

Add a One-Page “Meeting Playbook”

A one-page reference keeps tough conversations on track. It reduces blowups, sets fair expectations, and provides both parents with a neutral reminder to stay respectful—especially helpful during co-parenting talks.

What your playbook should include (the three basics):

• Off-limits topics that trigger drama (e.g., past relationship issues, new partners, blame).
• Meeting format with time limits for each agenda item.
• Communication rules that keep discussions civil and efficient.

Sample Playbook (customize to fit your family):

• Time limit: 30 minutes max per conversation
• Focus areas: Kids’ schedules, money obligations, logistics only
• Forbidden topics: Past relationship drama, new partners, blame
• Communication rules: No interrupting; use “I” statements; stick to verifiable facts; keep tones calm
• Process if tempers rise: 2-minute pause → restate goals → move topic to parking lot
• Prep & follow-through: Share documents 24 hours before; end with an action list and due dates
• Scheduling cadence: Weekly or biweekly until decisions stabilize

Parents can glance at this sheet before each call or meeting to remind themselves of what’s in bounds. 

Practicing these calm, repeatable habits during small disagreements builds the muscle you’ll need for bigger decisions later.

Midway and want momentum? Anna K Law offers mediation that utilizes a straightforward meeting playbook—complete with timed agendas, clear rules, and concise recaps—to facilitate more efficient and durable agreements. Contact us to schedule a no-pressure consultation.

Money Done Right: Disclosures, Budgets, And Valuations

Sorting out finances during a divorce needs careful planning. Three main pieces work together to protect both sides.

Financial disclosures are the backbone of a fair divorce. Financial disclosures in Illinois divorces require both spouses to share full details about their finances and debts—this includes bank statements, tax returns, and joint account records.

Court decisions about property division and child support rely on accurate information. If someone hides assets or gives incomplete records, everyone loses.

Budget planning enables divorcing spouses to manage their finances and property during the transition. This means tracking spending and planning for new living costs.

Key Budget Areas

Housing costs

Child support payments

Legal fees

New household expenses

Asset valuations ensure that marital property is split fairly. Divorce valuation involves appraising all shared assets to determine their current value.

Some things need professional appraisals. Formal valuations might be required for houses, businesses, or retirement accounts.

Financial records need to be organized and complete. Missing paperwork slows down the process and can increases legal bills. 

Couples should gather documents early and keep copies of all financial information.

Parenting First: Plans That Reduce Future Conflict

Divorce is stressful enough—no one needs ongoing fights about the kids. A detailed parenting plan is the foundation for peaceful co-parenting during and after separation.

Clear custody arrangements stop most arguments before they ever start. Parents who lay out specific details avoid confusion down the road.

Creating a comprehensive parenting plan helps families navigate this challenging transition with greater stability and security.

Essential Elements for Success

Custody Schedule Details:

• Weekday and weekend arrangements
• Holiday and vacation splits
• Pick-up and drop-off times
• School event attendance

Decision-Making Authority:

• Medical care choices
• Educational decisions
• Religious activities
• Extracurricular participation

Clear parenting plans lay out how parents should communicate. They establish boundaries while always keeping children’s needs at the center.

High-conflict situations demand even more detailed planning to prevent disputes from escalating. Written guidelines help parents handle the unexpected.

When both parents know their roles, and expectations, child custody tends to go smoothly. The plan should include backup options for emergencies, because life rarely goes as planned.

When “Healthy” Isn’t Safe (Red Flags)

Some divorces just can’t be healthy, no matter how hard you try. Safety comes first when certain red flags show up.

Immediate Safety Concerns:

• Physical violence or threats
• Stalking or tracking behavior
• Financial abuse or control
• Gaslighting and manipulation
• Threats involving children

If abuse is present, collaborative divorce just isn’t safe. Abusers often use mediation as another way to manipulate or intimidate.

Legal Protections Available:

Protection Type	Purpose
Restraining Orders	Prevent contact or harassment
Emergency Custody Orders	Protect children immediately
Asset Freezing	Stop financial manipulation
Safe Exchange Programs	Enable supervised child visits

Most state divorce laws take domestic violence seriously. Courts can modify their usual procedures to ensure the safety of victims during proceedings.

Warning Signs During Divorce:

• Partner refuses to follow court orders
• Escalating anger about the process
• Using children as weapons
• Hiding assets or income
• Making threats about custody

If you observe these behaviors, you really need attorneys who specialize in high-conflict divorces. They’ll help you navigate the legal maze and put safety above saving time or money.

Honestly, mental health professionals who specialize in abuse can make all the difference during this rough patch.

Timeline & Cost Drivers You Can Control

Divorce timelines and costs can feel overwhelming. Still, couples actually have more control over both than they might think.

Effective communication plays a crucial role in keeping costs down. If both parties communicate openly and honestly, lawyers don’t need to spend as much time going back and forth.

That alone can significantly reduce the billable hours.

Document preparation saves time and money. When you gather financial records, property deeds, and tax returns before meeting with attorneys, everything moves faster.

Clients who stay organized usually see lower legal fees and court costs.

Key factors that impact the timeline:

• Complexity of assets – More assets mean it takes longer to divide everything up.
• Child custody agreements – Custody disputes can significantly prolong the process.
• Court schedules – Busy courts simply create more delays.
• Attorney availability – If you want a popular lawyer, you may have to wait a while.

Cost control strategies include:

Strategy	Potential Savings
Mediation instead of litigation	40-60% reduction
Collaborative divorce	30-50% reduction
Organized documentation	10-20% reduction
Clear communication	15-25% reduction

( where are you getting these percentage from? Unless you can’t point to a legit study  and were putting a cite do not put states on the website. Because UC you ask me collaborative makes things more efficient than mediation). That’s me personal observation but I don’t want yo make up stats 

Avoiding common mistakes helps prevent costly delays. Hiding assets, making big financial moves without approval, or using kids as messengers between parents can all backfire.

Emotional preparation matters too. People who prioritize their emotional well-being tend to make better decisions more quickly.

Close with clarity, not conflict. Anna K Law can finalize your Parenting Plan with plain-English terms, timelines, and a built-in dispute process. Contact us to schedule your Illinois consultation today.

Frequently Asked Questions 

What makes a divorce “healthy” in real life?

Short, agenda-driven meetings, transparent finances, and child-focused decisions. Keep sessions brief, summarize your points before responding, document next steps, and avoid discussing heated topics. This structure minimizes conflict and produces durable agreements that both parents can live with.

How does the one-page meeting playbook reduce conflict?

It sets guardrails before emotions flare: off-limits topics, a timed agenda, and rules like “no interrupting” and “I-statements.” With expectations clear, conversations stay focused on logistics, budgets, and parenting—less drama, more decisions.

What belongs on our “off-limits” list?

Anything that reliably triggers blame or escalation, such as past relationship grievances, new partners, character attacks, or “always/never” language. Parking those topics keeps negotiations on practical ground—schedules, documents, and numbers—so you can make progress without spiraling out of control.

How long should divorce discussions last?

Aim for 30–90 minutes. Short, frequent sessions outperform marathons because they preserve patience, enforce priorities, and allow for homework between meetings (such as reviewing documents, valuations, and drafting clauses). End each session by setting owners, deadlines, and the next date.

What communication rules work best during negotiations?

Use a “listen-then-summarize” step before replying, speak in short turns, stick to verifiable facts, and keep tones neutral. If tension rises, pause for two minutes or move the topic to a “parking lot” and return later.

Which financial steps lower conflict fastest?

Exchange complete statements up front, agree on a shared monthly budget, and set a valuation plan for the house, retirement, business, or equity comp. Clarity kills suspicion and shortens timelines—especially when a shared financial neutral is involved.

How can we create a parenting plan that prevents future conflicts?

Write specifics: exchanges, holidays, travel notice, communication rules, and a first-step dispute process (co-parenting app, coach, or mediation) before any court filing. Clear clauses reduce gray areas and protect kids’ routines.

When is private negotiation not the right choice?

 Suppose there’s domestic violence, coercive control, hidden assets, or urgent child safety issues. In such cases, utilize court protections and formal discovery procedures first. You can still settle later once safety and disclosure are secured.

Divorce is an emotionally charged and stressful process that can impact every aspect of your life. One of the most challenging aspects of divorce is dividing assets such as real estate, retirement accounts, and business ownership. These types of assets can be complex and require careful consideration to ensure that both parties receive a fair and equitable distribution. This article will discuss the division of real estate and other assets during divorce, including the tax implications, the importance of working with appraisers and other experts, and how using an attorney experienced in collaborative divorce can help you navigate this process.

Divorce can be complex and emotional, particularly when dividing assets such as real estate, investments, and personal property. These assets can hold significant financial and emotional value, and it can be challenging to agree on how to divide them fairly.

One option for navigating the division of assets during divorce is to use the collaborative divorce process. Collaborative divorce is a cooperative and non-adversarial approach to divorce in which both parties work together to reach a mutually beneficial settlement. This approach can be particularly effective when dividing real estate and other assets, as it allows both parties to work together to find creative and mutually beneficial solutions.

If you are considering a collaborative divorce, it’s essential to work with an experienced attorney/mediator who understands the nuances of this process and can help guide you through it. Anna Krolikowska “Anna K”, an attorney and mediator, is such an attorney. Anna practices family law in Cook, Lake and DuPage Counties in Illinois. She works with your unique situation and set of challenges to address your family law needs.

Collaborative Divorce Process

Approaching the division of assets collaboratively and respectfully is possible. One option for navigating the division of assets during divorce is to use the collaborative divorce process. Collaborative divorce is a process in which both parties work together to agree on the division of assets and other issues related to the divorce.

Collaborative divorce can be less stressful and less costly than traditional divorce litigation. It also allows both parties to have more control over the outcome of the divorce and can result in a more amicable relationship after the divorce is finalized.

In a collaborative divorce, both parties typically hire their own attorneys who are trained in collaborative divorce, and as part of that training are also trained as mediators. They also work with other professionals, such as appraisers and financial advisors, to agree on the division of assets. In addition to dividing assets, the collaborative process can help couples address other vital issues, such as child custody and support, spousal support, and post-divorce financial planning.

Dividing Assets: Real Estate, Retirement Accounts, and Business Ownership

Dividing Real Estate

Real estate is often one of the most significant assets involved in a divorce. Depending on the circumstances, the couple may own one or multiple properties, such as a family home, vacation, or investment property. Real estate is often the most valuable asset that a couple owns. If the couple owns a home together, they must decide whether one party will keep the home or if it will be sold and the proceeds divided. This decision can be complicated, as it often involves emotional ties to the home and financial considerations such as the cost of upkeep, property taxes, and mortgage payments.

One option for dividing real estate is to sell the property and divide the proceeds between the spouses in a way that makes sense to them. This approach can be beneficial if neither spouse wants to keep the property or if no children are involved.

Another option is for one spouse to buy out the other spouse’s share of the property. This approach can be beneficial if one spouse wants to keep the family home or if children are involved. For example, the spouse who keeps the property would need to refinance the mortgage and buy out the other spouse’s share based on either the property’s current market value or an agreed market value. The couple could also agree to trade the property and the equity in it for other assets.

Dividing Retirement Accounts

Retirement accounts are another asset that may need to be divided during a divorce. These accounts can include 401(k)s, IRAs, and pension plans. The division of retirement accounts is governed by federal law, specifically the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA) and the Internal Revenue Code (IRC). Retirement accounts such as 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions are commonly divided during divorce. These accounts can be complex, and it is essential to understand the tax implications of dividing them.

Sometimes, a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) may be required to divide retirement accounts. A QDRO is a court order establishing how the retirement account will be divided, and the plan administrator must approve it.

Dividing Business Ownership

Dividing this asset during divorce can be challenging if one or both parties own a business. A business valuation is typically required to determine the value of the business, and an expert such as an appraiser may be needed. Once the value of the business is determined, the couple will need to decide how to divide the ownership or if one party will buy out the other.

One option is for one spouse to buy out the other spouse’s share of the business. This approach can be beneficial if one spouse wants to continue running the business or has no other viable options. The buyout price would be based on the business’s current market value, which would need to be determined by a professional appraiser, or another agreed value.

Another option is to sell the business and divide the proceeds equally between the spouses. This approach can be beneficial if neither spouse wants to continue running the business or if it is not profitable.

Some couples also choose to continue operating a business together for some time, but agree on detailed terms of co-operation and possible future sale or buy-out.

Tax Implications of Dividing Assets

Dividing assets during a divorce can have significant tax implications for both parties. Understanding these implications and working with a tax professional to minimize potential tax liabilities can offer significant benefits. For example, the division of a retirement account can result in taxes and penalties if not done correctly. Therefore, working with an experienced attorney and tax professional is essential to understand the tax implications of dividing assets and how to minimize tax liabilities.

For example, selling a home or investment property may result in capital gains taxes. However, there is an exception for spouses who are divorcing. Under current tax law, a spouse who sells a property as part of a divorce settlement can exclude up to $500,000 of capital gains from their income.

Dividing retirement accounts can also have tax implications. Withdrawals from traditional retirement accounts, such as 401(k)s and IRAs, are generally subject to income taxes. However, there is an exception for spouses who are divorcing. For example, suppose the retirement account is divided according to a QDRO. In that case, the receiving spouse can roll their share of the account into their own IRA without incurring any taxes or penalties.

Working with Appraisers and Other Experts

Dividing assets during a divorce often requires the assistance of appraisers and other experts. An appraiser can provide a professional opinion of the value of a property or business, which is essential in determining how to divide the assets. Therefore, it is vital to choose an appraiser who is qualified and experienced in the specific type of property or business being appraised.

Similarly, a financial advisor, or a financial neutral or accountant can guide the tax implications of dividing assets and help ensure fair and equitable division for both parties. In addition, these professionals can objectively assess the value of assets such as real estate and businesses, which can be critical in determining a fair distribution. Your attorney will be able to guide you as to which professionals would be helpful and to offer possible referrals.

Negotiating a Settlement

Once you have identified and valued your assets and considered the tax implications, it’s time to negotiate a settlement. In a collaborative divorce, both parties work together to find a fair and equitable solution that meets their needs and goals. This can involve a variety of strategies, including:

• Creating a list of priorities: Each party can identify their most important assets and work to negotiate a settlement that addresses their top priorities.
• Trading assets: You can negotiate a settlement in which one party keeps certain assets while the other party keeps different assets of similar value.
• Selling assets: If both parties agree, it may be possible to sell certain assets and divide the proceeds.
• Co-owning assets: In some cases, it may be possible to co-own certain assets, such as a vacation home or investment property, with each party owning a percentage of the asset.

Drafting a Settlement Agreement

Once you have settled, it’s essential to draft a formal agreement that outlines the terms of your division of assets. This agreement should be reviewed by both parties and their attorneys to ensure that it accurately reflects the terms of your settlement and protects your interests. Once the agreement is signed, and incorporated into a divorce judgment, it becomes a legally binding contract by which both parties must abide.

Let us Summarize!

By identifying and valuing assets, considering tax implications, negotiating a settlement and drafting a formal agreement, the collaborative divorce process can be an effective way for couples to navigate the division of real estate and other assets during a divorce.

By working together with their attorneys and other professionals, couples can achieve a fair and equitable distribution of assets and move forward with their lives. Working with an experienced attorney trained in collaborative divorce can be key to successfully navigating this process.

If you are in Cook, Lake, and DuPage Counties in Illinois, contact Anna Krolikowska for a free thirty-minute consultation.  You may also call 847-715-9328 or email her at annna@annaklaw.com to discuss your family law questions.

Few periods in life pose such a challenge as a divorce. Only spouses experiencing a marital crisis and a subsequent divorce know how difficult this period can be for everyone involved.

Things become even more complicated in case of a contested divorce. Spouses who disagree on whether or not they should end the marriage (or about other issues) often engage in frequent debates, not sparing each other or their children from unpleasant scenes. In some instances, couples involved in contentious divorces often also deal with domestic violence.

Unfortunately, contested divorce wreaks havoc on family relationships, destroying emotional bonds and leaving psychological wounds, especially with children. It also often destroys the family financially.

To learn how to choose a peaceful divorce and avoid the devastating consequences of a family dispute, below are five tips for navigating this challenging time with your spouse.

1. Talk With Your Spouse About the Prospects of a Peaceful Divorce

If no domestic violence or substance abuse is involved, use every opportunity to talk to your spouse about the prospects of a peaceful divorce. Communication can be slow and painful at first, especially if one of the spouses is having difficulty accepting that your marriage is essentially over. If you are in marital counseling, bring up the possibility of a peaceful divorce in your counseling sessions. After possibly overcoming initial rejection, emotional reactions, and periods of silence, sometimes both spouses eventually realize that divorce is inevitable. When talking about ending the marriage, consider the different legal options available. Litigation is a conventional tool for resolving divorce-related disputes. However, the court process inevitably involves undue publicity, meaning everyone has access to sensitive personal information. In addition, the process is financially draining because each phase (discovery, opening statements, witness testimonies, and closing arguments) carries additional costs due to a lot of attorney time and resulting hefty attorney and court filing fees. The court dockets are also often overloaded, which results in delays. You may end up waiting for months (or even years) to get a hearing date. An adversarial environment, typical for litigation, leads to even deeper division between the spouses, making the a cordial post-divorce relationship impossible. Children suffer long-term negative emotional consequences after seeing their parents fighting each other for years, and often being pulled into the litigation. As opposed to that, out-of-court methods focus on creating a peaceful atmosphere, enabling negotiations that lead to genuine resolution, preserving family relationships and asset. Amicable divorce helps spouses develop and maintain constructive relationships after the marriage ends, resulting in more effective co-parenting. Both spouses and children benefit immensely from a peaceful resolution of family disputes. In your conversations, always seek the lowest common denominator leading you to a non-adversarial and peaceful solution. Hopefully, you and your spouse can agree that an uncontested divorce would be best for everyone involved.

2. Consider the Most Effective Out-of-Court Methods

When talking with your spouse about ways to peacefully end your marriage, consider the most common (and functional) out-of-court methods. There are several options among alternative dispute resolution tools, but mediation and collaborative divorce emerge as the most effective and beneficial. Below are the answers to frequently asked questions regarding these non-adversarial divorce methods.

• What is a Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative divorce is an alternative dispute resolution method allowing divorcing spouses to end their marriage peacefully and consensually. In collaborative law, each spouse retains an attorney, trained as a mediator and trained in a collaborative process, to represent them in divorce negotiations. Since each spouse hires an attorney in a court process – the crucial differences from litigation are that there is no court involvement, the attorneys are trained as mediators, and in the collaborative process, from the get-go, the approach is focused on the couple’s overall goals and an amicable divorce. The spouses and collaborative attorneys work together (collaborate) to achieve mutually beneficial outcomes. The process starts by signing a participation agreement in which spouses commit to acting in good faith and promise to invest their best efforts to settle. The focus is on transparency and a free flow of information, enabling the spouses to let off steam and exchange vital information regarding their separation. The process involves the participation of various experts: a divorce coach, financial advisor, real estate agent, forensic accountant, child therapist, etc. Their role is to give the couple the support they need and enable them to make informed decisions regarding their future. Another benefit of the collaborative law process is that, contrary to litigation, it allows the couple greater control over the settlement terms as well as over the dynamics of the case (scheduling of the meetings, etc.). Illinois Collaborative Process Act prohibits lawyers from representing the same parties in litigation if collaborative efforts fail, or the couple needs to return to court post-divorce for litigation. Similarly, a collaborative attorney must resign if their client fails to disclose all material information or falsely represents facts. The only court involvement includes filing the settlement agreement after successful out-of-court negotiations.

• Divorce Mediation – Is it a Good Idea?

Mediation is another alternative dispute resolution method, providing numerous benefits to divorcing couples. Unlike litigation, no state-appointed judge resolves a dispute. On the other hand, spouses do not hire lawyers to work together toward the settlement (like in collaborative law). The mediation involves a neutral third person – a mediator, chosen voluntarily by the parties. The process is confidential, meaning nothing revealed during mediation sessions will become part of the public record. It consists of four typical stages: introduction, opening statements, private, and joint sessions. Mediation allows divorcing couples to negotiate their differences with the help of a neutral mediator (usually a retired judge, attorney, or other professional). The spouses can hire attorneys to counsel and advise them through the mediation process. They will also need the help of an attorney to prepare the legal divorce documents and help them finalize the divorce case in the court system.

• What Does a Mediator Do in a Divorce?

Generally, the mediator does not have decision-making authority, meaning they cannot resolve the dispute by issuing a binding judgment. Also, they are not allowed to propose solutions or give legal advice. Their task is to stay neutral and facilitate the negotiations between the divorcing spouses. Some mediators conduct all sessions as a joint session. Others include a mix of private and joint sessions. In private sessions, a mediator talks to each party, going back and forth between session rooms. After evaluating each spouse’s arguments, the mediator holds a joint session, enabling the parties to negotiate the disputed matters. By creating a peaceful environment, the mediator motivates the spouses to bring offers and counteroffers until they settle.

• Collaborative Divorce vs. Mediation

Although both methods aim at resolving divorce-related disputes far from judicial decision-making centers, the difference between them is notable. Collaborative law involves lawyers both sides retain to help them negotiate the dispute. On the other hand, mediation’s focus is on a neutral third person facilitating negotiations. Despite attorneys being able to participate in mediation, they do not take such an active role in mediation sessions. They act as counselors, helping spouses get the most out of negotiations. However, the mediator takes the central part by motivating the parties to settle their differences and creating a friendly atmosphere where they can open up about the dispute. In contrast the collaborative process involves two counterpart lawyers collaborating and helping the couple negotiate a settlement. Collaborative attorneys are also trained as mediators,  and they use their diverse skills to help the couple negotiate a settlement agreement. In mediation, a third impartial person is encouraging the settling process. When talking about the differences between collaborative divorce and mediation, there is one common misconception about mediation that deserves clarification. Namely, mediators can help you overcome disagreements and settle disputes. Eventually, they can assist you in writing up a memorandum of understanding. But only attorneys (or at least one attorney) can prepare all the legal documents (including the divorce settlement agreement), file the papers, and finalize the divorce.

• Divorce Mediation Checklist

Divorce mediation is a voluntary, flexible dispute resolution method. Although there are no rigid litigation rules in mediation, you should not take the process lightly. The outcome of the mediation sessions depends on the level of your preparedness. To increase the likelihood of success, make sure to go through the divorce mediation checklist:

• Gather necessary contact information for all participants in the process (mediator, family members, child specialists, financial experts, etc.).
• Plan mediation sessions on time and respect the defined schedule.
• Assemble in advance and bring necessary documents (court documents, financial statements, medical records, etc.).
• Define the payment terms with the mediator.
• Attend sessions and be open to compromise.

3. Choose the Right Collaborative Lawyer or Mediator

Choosing the right collaborative attorney or a mediator should be your next priority. Depending on the professionals helping you settle, outcomes can vary. If you opt for a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse will each need to hire a collaborative attorney. Although they represent opposite sides, your lawyers will cooperate in bringing you the best possible outcome. Remember that without each spouse hiring a collaborative attorney to represent them, they will not be able to use the collaborative methods to the divorce. Mediation is different. Spouses must agree regarding the mediator they wish to facilitate their negotiations. When choosing divorce professionals, always look for a local collaborative lawyer or a mediator. Check their website, clients’ impressions, and success records. Corroborate your findings with first-hand testimonies whenever possible. Lastly, conduct interviews with the best candidates before making a final decision, and make sure you pick the right professional for you.

4. Focus On a Peaceful Resolution

No matter which alternative method you choose, always focus on resolving your divorce-related dispute peacefully. That involves open-mindedness and readiness for compromise. Negotiations are inherent to both collaborative divorce and mediation. In each negotiation, you must be ready to move from your initial position toward an agreement. A peaceful divorce is not a zero-sum game. It is about compromising and understanding the other side’s perspective. Look at things from a different point of view to understand your spouse’s interests and needs. Instead of trying to conquer your adversary (like in litigation), seek compromise by making concessions. Focusing on a peaceful resolution, especially going through a collaborative divorce, couples have a greater chance of walking away from negotiations with a feeling of satisfaction. Collaborative divorce results in genuine conflict resolution, meaning couples are more likely to comply with agreements. Consequently, their post-divorce communication will open the way for a healthier co-parenting relationship, which benefits the divorcing couple, and especially the children.

5. Learn How to File for a Divorce in Illinois

Despite divorcing out of court, you and your spouse must know the basics of filing for a divorce in Illinois. The reason is simple. Collaborative divorce and mediation are effective, but there is no one-size-fits-all solution to all divorce-related disputes. When alternative dispute resolution methods fail, your last resort will be filing for a litigated divorce. You do not need to prove reasons for a divorce  other than irreconcilable differences, because Illinois is a no-fault state, but you must follow the steps described below:

• Hire an attorney to represent you.
• Prepare the proper documents (the filing forms are different, depending on whether or not you have children).
• Collect necessary information (date of entering the marriage, addresses of both spouses, date when you separated, list of assets and debts, information about children).
• File the proper documents with the clerk of your county court.
• Serve your spouse by a sheriff or a private process server, or in limited circumstances by publication).
• Engage in financial disclosures and participate in discovery.
• Participate in court hearings and trial.

Unique Solutions That Fit Your Needs

Anna P. Krolikowska is a litigator, trained mediator, and collaborative attorney practicing law in Northbrook, Illinois.

Ms. Krolikowska understands that divorce is a challenging time for everyone involved. Adhering to the highest professional and ethical standards, she can help you resolve your dispute and achieve the best possible outcomes.

Whether you choose collaborative divorce or mediation, Ms. Krolikowska has your back. Please reach out today for a free 30-minute consultation.

 

Ending the Marriage

The end of the marriage can be a difficult, often traumatic experience. You will find new paths and new horizons. However, ending your marriage does not always end the relationship with your former spouse. Especially if you have children together. You need to forge a new path forward. Often you can even enjoy a respectful and open communication. How is that possible?

For many couples, one of the main reasons for divorce is lack of communication, or lack of good communication. Ironically, for many couples the key to a better divorce and successful post-divorce relationship is better communication and cooperation. The answer is collaborative divorce.

But first, let us take a look at what does not work.

Divorce Litigation

Traditional litigation involves an open confrontation between the disputing parties. Opposing attorneys engage in an open court fight, trying to outsmart each other. The divorcing spouses become part of a heated legal battle, where there is often little or no regard for the children’s well-being and post-divorce relationship. Since the court process is public, litigants often reveal sensitive personal information about their spouses. Airing dirty laundry in front of the public eye contributes little to improving a co-parenting relationship in the future. When children are involved, the harmful effects of litigation amplify. Watching their parents fight over alimony or custody, using dirty tricks against each other, leaves deep emotional scars and trauma. State-appointed judges typically have little time, resources, or knowledge to deal with the psychological aspects of divorce. Judges are supposed to focus on the best interest of the children in deciding custody, but that also means promoting involvement of both parents in the kids’ lives whenever possible. On the financial side the battles often revolve around what is or isn’t marital property or debt, valuation of assets, how to divide those assets, and whether to order alimony or another type of financial compensation, like child support, and how much of it. Litigating divorce means spouses undergo an exhausting discovery process involving gathering of financial documents and depositions or questioning under oath about their case, opening statements, witness and expert testimonies, and closing arguments. Each phase carries additional costs, pushing overall expenses to astronomical figures. Besides, undergoing the court process is time-consuming because even getting an initial court hearing date can take months. Consequently, waiting for a final divorce judgment often lasts several years.

Once again, the answer is collaborative divorce.

Insiders Guide to Collaborative Divorce

To help you understand the specifics of the collaborative divorce process below is a guide based on an extensive experience of a distinguished Illinois collaborative attorney, Anna P. Krolikowska.

1. What is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative divorce is an out-of-court method for resolving divorce-related disputes. In collaborative law, each spouse hires an attorney, like in litigation. But, unlike litigated divorce, there is no confrontation between the parties. Collaborative attorneys work together to support the couple in resolving their dispute privately, without court intervention. They provide their respective clients with information regarding their legal options on issues related to the marriage and divorce and help the spouses find common ground and resolve contentious issues through negotiation, open communication, and collaboration. Collaborative divorce involves not only attorneys but also experts and consultants from various branches, who might be helpful to the couple in making their decisions. For example a financial neutral can assist the couple in identifying potential financial settlement options, while a coach can assist with processing the emotions related to tte death of their marriage, remain on track during the collaborative divorce process and transition to a new future. The Illinois Collaborative Process Act (2018) governs the process of divorcing out of court and its central principles. Anna was one of a handful of attorneys involved in writing the Illinois Collaborative Process Act (2018) and lobbying on behalf of the Illinois State Bar Association for its passage in Springfield, IL.

2. The Goals of Collaborative Divorce

The principal goal of collaborative family law is creating a settlement agreement tailored to a particular family in a respectful and supportive environment while avoiding adversarial court proceedings. Collaborative divorce is an attempt to resolve a family dispute voluntarily and privately, without government involvement. The underlying principles of the collaborative approach are honesty, integrity, transparency, cooperation, and professionalism. Spouses promise to invest their best efforts in creating an agreement for their family and resolving contentious matters in a constructive and respectful manner. In contrast to litigation, the collaborative divorce process is future-oriented. Instead of dissecting the past and finding culprits, collaborative divorce deals with post-divorce relationships. Attorneys in collaborative divorce work shoulder-to-shoulder with child psychologists and other experts to ensure children go through the process without harm. The collaborative approach minimizes negative social, financial, and psychological consequences for everyone involved, especially children. This out-of-court method focuses on promoting settlement and maximizing the chances for positive outcomes. Ensuring successful (or at least workable) co-parenting relations between former spouses is one of the main goals of collaborative divorce. Collaborative attorneys work toward restoring an emotional and psychological balance between the spouses and strengthening their self-determination and integrity. Using their psychological and communication skills, collaborative lawyers set the atmosphere in which spouses can freely and openly communicate, overcoming differences and reaching a settlement. Finally, the process as a whole is carefully tuned to resonate with both the children’s and the parents’ best interests.

3. No Court Intervention

Spouses participating in a collaborative divorce agree to exchange all material information and disclose facts relevant to their divorce freely and voluntarily, without external compulsion. The essence of collaborative law is engaging in informal meetings and discussions and communicating productively using all means available. That is a stark contrast to litigation, where parties disclose and exchange information in a rigid discovery process, while communication is possible only through subpoenas and formal court hearings. Next, divorcing couple encourages their attorneys and other experts involved in the process to cooperate closely. The key to understanding collaborative divorce is the role of attorneys and consultants. They all work toward one goal – helping the couple settle their divorce out of court in a manner determined to be fair and equitable by the couple and not by an external decision maker, like a Judge.

4. Limitations of the Process

The collaborative law process has its limits. Despite the undisputed benefits, divorcing spouses must be aware that even collaborative law cannot resolve all the issues that led to the dispute. Even though there is no better method for addressing underlying problems that cause divorce, no one can guarantee collaborative divorce process will result in a divorce agreement, or ultimately resolve distrust, tensions, and other irreconcilable differences between the spouses. Spouses should understand that improving their communication and strengthening their co-parenting skills depends primarily on themselves. Collaborative attorneys and external consultants, like coaches, or financial neutrals, are here to help, but they cannot support the couple every minute of every day. Divorcing spouses should also be aware that participating in the collaborative divorce process does not mean you must renounce your interests, or surrender them to the other party’s interests. The collaborative divorce process is built around the divorcing couples goals, concerns and fears, and ultimately the divorcing couple decides what that means and what an equitable agreement looks like. Also, engaging in collaborative efforts does not imply that attorneys represent both spouses. On the contrary, collaborative attorneys have fiduciary duties only to the party that hired them. Their job involves close cooperation with the other party’s attorney, but ultimately they own loyalty only to their clients, representing their best interests.

5. Preserving Integrity

Preserving the integrity of the collaborative divorce process is essential. Participating in collaborative efforts is a sign you and your spouse want to take your dispute resolution to a higher, more respectful and considerate level. You reject the alternative – engaging in an all-or-nothing court battle that means one of you goes down no matter the cost and the damage caused to the family. Instead of fighting against each other, you choose to work together toward the same goals. By starting the collaborative process, you have already won the first victory over your inherent combative instincts. Even if you do not resolve all of your issues through the collaborative process hopefully you will be able to salvage some of the work done. Of course, ideally you want to resolve all of your divorce issues and finalize your divorce process. Statistics maintained by the International Academy of Collaborative Practitioner indicate that roughly 90% of couples who begin collaborative divorce process finalize their divorce through the collaborative process. But even those couples who are unable to finalize their divorce through the collaborative process might be able to salvage some of the work done, for example by asking a judge in their divorce case to enter a parenting judgment which they created through the collaborative process. Something is better than nothing.  As the couple undertakes a collaborative process,, the parties and the attorneys work to protect the privacy and dignity of the spouses, their  children, and everyone involved.

6. Conducting in Good Faith

The parties to the collaborative process commit to acting in good faith and investing their best efforts to settle. By signing the participation agreement, both spouses agree (and oblige themselves) to reveal and share all material information related to the case (income, assets, debts, accounts, etc.). The key to a successful collaborative process is free and open communication. Collaborative lawyers encourage parties to express their emotions, desires, needs, and fears. Parties use their best efforts to understand and sympathize with the other side’s position. The collaborative process differs from litigation in one respect – no formal discovery in collaborative law, meaning no coercive legal mechanisms are available to ensure parties reveal financial and other relevant information. Instead of official discovery, parties use informal discussions and meetings to exchange materials and disclose facts. Because there are no state-regulated mechanisms for compelling the party to provide crucial information, collaborative law relies on each party’s integrity and sense of honor. The divorcing couple can also hire a financial neutral, who as a member of the collaborative team, reviews all the financial documents and raises questions, brings up discrepancies, and helps to brainstorm and analyze possible divorce settlement scenarios. Collaborative divorce achieves transparency through frequent communications, free disclosure of financial documents, assistance of collaborative professionals and the so-called team meetings that occur throughout the collaborative divorce process. The goal of the team meetings is to discuss the matters openly with the support and assistance of the professionals.

7. The Role of Collaborative Attorneys

Collaborative attorneys have a different role than their litigation colleagues. Rather than representing disputed parties in an adversarial process, collaborative attorneys work to find common ground between their clients. Similar to trial lawyers, collaborative attorneys have a client-attorney relationship with fiduciary duties and must represent his or her client’s best interests. What differentiates collaborative attorneys is their additional training as mediators and collaborative professionals and their commitment to assisting the divorcing couples through the collaborative process rather than litigating all issues with a win at all cost mindset. While zealously representing their individual client’s interests, collaborative attorneys work side-by-side with their counterparts to help their clients arrive at an agreement that works for the divorcing couple. Collaborative divorce attorneys are peacemakers and problem solvers. Their primary responsibilities are to ensure that their clients have all the information necessary to make informed choices, are able to advocate for themselves, and craft a divorce agreement specifically tailor to their and their family’s needs. One of their key aspects of collaborative divorce process is transparency. Under Illinois law, collaborative attorneys will encourage their clients to disclose information, and ultimately must resign if their clients intentionally misrepresent material facts or fail to disclose relevant information. The collaborative participation agreement spouses, attorneys, and all collaborative professionals sign at the start of the process provides that they cannot provide additional services if the collaborative process fail. In case of the attorney’s that means that they cannot represent the same client both in collaborative process and any future litigation.

8. The Use of Experts and Consultants

Experts and consultants play a significant role in the collaborative law process. Dealing with demise of a marriage, custody, co-parenting, division of marital property and debts, alimony, and other complex issues bring with them emotional, financial and legal considerations. As opposed to litigation, where each side hires its experts to confront the other party’s expert before the court, collaborative law offers a different approach. Namely, as needed in a particular case, the divorcing spouses retain joint neutral experts (child specialists, financial advisers, therapists/coaches, appraisers, actuaries, etc.) to provide expert opinions on a specific complex or contentious matters. Parties then use the information they receive as data points for further negotiations. One of the specifics of collaborative law is that expert parties hired during collaborative divorce cannot participate in future litigation between the same parties.

9. Confidentiality

Confidentiality is one of the cornerstones of collaborative divorce. By signing the participation agreement, spouses, their attorneys and all other professionals agree to maintain the parties’ privacy and confidentiality and minimize which information revealed during the collaborative divorce process will become part of the public record. The same rule applies to experts and consultants involved in the process. However, the secrecy does not extend to information related to actions that constitute child abuse, aim at causing irreparable financial damage, or violate the rules of an attorney’s professional conduct.

10. Dealing With Children’s Issues

Children’s well-being is one of the central concerns of collaborative law. The divorcing spouses who choose collaborative divorce process recognize that the distrust, disharmony, and marital crisis that led to the divorce is unrelated to their children. Hence, resolving the dispute should not negatively affect children’s peace of mind or contradict their best interests. The collaborative law process comprises mechanisms protecting the emotional and psychological integrity of the youngest family members. It assists parents in shielding the children from the challenges their parents experience during the divorce. To that end, participants of the collaborative process invest efforts in promoting caring and loving relationships between parents and children and respectful communication between parents. Any details related to the divorce are intentionally not disclosed to, or discussed with the children.

11. What Are Temporary Agreements?

Temporary agreements refer to the arrangements parties make during the process regarding their rights and obligations. To promote certainty and avoid arbitrariness, collaborative attorneys encourage divorcing spouses to agree on how to treat assets and liabilities, child issues, and their conduct during the collaborative process. The arrangement is temporary until the parties finally settle, resolving their divorce-related dispute. However, the collaborative team frequently check-in with the spouses to see if they would like to modify the temporary agreements in any way as they progress through the case. For example, this gives the parents an opportunity to try out multiple parenting schedules to find the best schedule for their family. Once the couple arrives at their best parenting schedule, that particular schedule is incorporated into the parenting judgment, which will be submitted to the court for entry.

12. Withdrawal of Collaborative Attorneys

The Illinois Collaborative Process Act provides that collaborative attorneys can withdraw from the case at any time, regardless of the reason. That is separate, and apart from an attorney resigning the case because the client refuses to disclose material information. In fact, an attorney can withdraw from a case regardless of the process, whether it is collaborative process, mediation or litigation for a number of reasons. A client also has the right to ask an attorney to withdraw from the case, or to hire a new attorney.   In case of withdrawal, the collaborative attorney can leave at their sole discretion without providing reasons. However, they must send notice in writing to the other party and their attorney. Withdrawing from the representation does not terminate the collaborative law case. The party whose attorney has withdrawn can hire a new collaborative attorney and continue the collaborative process.

Final Settlement Enforcement

The process ends by settling the dispute and signing a a parenting judgment and a marital settlement agreemeent. Until the agreement is signed, the parties can change collaborative attorneys or leave the process altogether, turning to the court. That reflects one of the principal aspects of collaborative law that litigation lacks – control over the process. The parties present the final signed agreements to the court for entry. Following review of the settlement documents, and in some court systems either an in-person or a virtual court appearance, the judge enters the settlement agreements and finalized the divorce case .

13. Terminating the Collaborative Law Process

As mentioned above, either party can unilaterally terminate the collaborative law process. They must give notice (in writing) to the other party and their attorney. Once the collaborative process has been terminated, either party may file a petition for divorce with the court. The person filing for divorce is called the Petitioner. The other spouse is then called the Respondent. The Respondent will need to be served with a summons and the divorce petition. Once served with the divorce petition and summons the Respondent has 30 days to file his or her written response with the court. As a reminder, the collaborative attorneys cannot represent clients in subsequent litigation, and each party will need to hire a new attorney.

The Attorney That Can Make a Difference

The principles laid out in this guide provide a framework for a successful collaborative law process. Reading carefully, you will notice that one principle prevails over others. Namely, the entire effort depends on the choice regarding the collaborative attorney. The right collaborative attorney can make a difference between an effortless resolution of your case and a complete waste of your time.

Anna P. Krolikowska is an Illinois collaborative attorney and family law professional with years of experience dealing with most contentious family matters. As a former litigator, Ms. Krolikowska understands the difficulties and struggles of those who undergo family crises, and how to help them navigate the often challenging and nuanced divorce process.

She is committed to providing a customized approach that fits their individual needs while upholding the highest collaborative law ethical standards. With Ms. Krolikowska on your side, you can rest assured your collaborative law efforts will yield the best possible outcomes.

Please reach out today to schedule your consultation.

What is Collaborative Divorce?

Before getting into the specifics of speaking to your spouse about collaborative divorce, let us briefly outline the main characteristics of this alternative dispute resolution method.

A collaborative divorce is a legal process of dissolving a marriage in which each spouse retains their attorney to work together towards reaching a fair and mutually beneficial settlement.

In some cases, collaborative divorce cannot yield positive outcomes due to a history of domestic violence, or refusal by one or both of the spouses to engage in the collaborative process in good faith  – going to court and letting the state-appointed judge resolves the dispute then seems like the only solution.

However, for spouses willing to sit at a negotiation table, or in a virtual session and bridge their differences through constructive talks, out-of-court divorce appears most suitable.

Knowing the basics, take a look at tips you can use when talking with your spouse about collaborative divorce:

1. Present It As an Option Worth Considering

When persuading your spouse to use collaborative divorce process to resolve your divorce-related dispute, portray it as an alternative to traditional litigation. Present the court process, highlighting its flaws. Then compare it to a collaborative divorce. Start by explaining that litigation is an adversarial, often vindictive process in which two sides fight over access to the kids, and/or who wins financial compensation and other benefits. The publicity of litigation means everyone has access to sensitive personal information. The process is emotionally and financially draining because each phase (discovery, opening statements, witness testimonies, and closing arguments) carries additional costs due to attorneys, experts and court filing fees. Because of the heavy caseloads, you can wait months (or even years) to appear in the first court session. The delays in the already overburdened court system were exacerbated even further throughout the Covid-19 pandemic. As a vindictive process, litigation cannot bring reconciliation and produce positive psychological effects. Instead, it can ruin relationships, leaving deep emotional scars on children who suffer the most from seeing their parents’ combative behavior, or worse, being pulled into their parents’ divorce process. In contrast to litigation, out-of-court methods provide flexibility, effectiveness, simplicity, and privacy, offering numerous benefits litigation lacks. Finally, the differences between conventional court procedures and collaborative divorce should be sufficient to convince everyone to choose the latter.

2. Emphasize the Benefits of Staying Out of Court

After presenting the flaws of traditional litigation, then emphasize the benefits of staying out of court. By signing a representation agreement, spouses commit to acting in good faith, sharing financial information, and promising to invest their best efforts to settle. The collaborative divorce attorney cannot represent the client in court if the collaborative divorce fails—which is another benefit of this method. Your collaborative divorce attorney is committed to helping you success in your collaborative divorce process. Furthermore, the collaborative divorce process is transparent, enabling the free flow of information between the disputing spouses. The rules of collaborative law require parties to disclose all material information and accurately represent facts. Unlike litigation, spouses engaging in collaborative divorce can rest assured because their personal information remains confidential. Finally, collaborative divorce means you will not be required to appear in court – except once, for a prove-up, when your settlement agreement is preseted to a judge and your divorce judgment is entered. That is a pro forma hearing, where your attorney’s will ask a few basic questions, to which you already know the answers, so that the judge can finalize your divorce. There are also counties in Illinois, where you can avoid even appearing in court for the prove-up, and finalize your divorce by submitting the finalized settlement agreements and affidavits for the judge to review and approve.

3. Focus on Lower Costs

Litigation is known as a financially draining process. Compared to court procedures, collaborative divorce is far less expensive. Unlike litigation, there are no endless motions and pleadings, discovery, adversarial hearings, and unpredictable costs. Instead, attorneys, and often other professionals, like financial neutrals or coaches, work shoulder-to-shoulder to bring about a mutually beneficial settlement, and built-in efficiencies into the process to save you time and money . In doing so, they engage in informal communication, prep and help you prepare for all collaborative, and utilize the services of other professionals. For example, a financial neutral can be much more efficient not only in reviewing the financial information, but at helping the couple and their collaborative attorneys identify and examine settlement options. This approach costs significantly less than discovery in a litigated divorce. No court filing fees are involved, helping spouses settle their disputes timely and cost-effectively.

4. Identify Common Incentives

Speak to your spouse openly about common incentives for initiating a collaborative law process. Apart from rare cases (with a history of violence, or refusal to engage in collaborative process in good faith), it should be clear that both spouses have strong incentives to resolve disputed matters out of court. Couples can have different motives for accepting an out-of-court divorce. While some prefer the lower costs of collaborative divorce, others choose it because of its reconciliatory effects. Therefore, knowing common incentives between you and your spouse is crucial for initiating the collaborative divorce and persisting until you settle the disagreement.

5. Highlight the Non-Adversarial Aspect

Collaborative divorce resembles litigation because attorneys representing each party are involved. But there is a difference – collaborative lawyers cooperate in helping their clients negotiate disputes. No third person resolves the conflict. The spouses decide what divorce settlement terms work for them and their family. Spouses invest effort in good faith negotiations to resolve the matter with the help of collaborative attorneys in a non-adversarial procedure.

About Anna Krolikowska

Anna P. Krolikowska is a distinguished collaborative divorce attorney practicing law in suburban Chicago. Her main office is located in Northbrook, Illinois, with satellite offices in Northwest and West suburbs. Anna also offers virtual appointments.

In her years-long career, Ms. Krolikowska established a reputation as a top-notch negotiator with a proven record of success.

Upholding the highest ethical and professional standards, she will commit to representing your interests while cooperating with the other side’s attorney in bringing the best possible outcomes.

She has been recognized as one of the Best Lawyers in America 2023 (U.S. News), a Super Lawyer 2019-2023), and Top 50 Women Lawyers 2021, 40 Under 40 Lawyers 2019, and a Leading Lawyer 2021-2022 by the Chicago Daily Law Bulletin.

 

Divorces can be challenging.

Every marriage is different. People decide to live together for various reasons. Sometimes it is true love and affection; other times, financial or business-related interests play a decisive role. Consequently, the nature of marriage relationships varies, and each marriage is unique.

Similar to marriages, divorces also differ. Some divorces involve dividing complex financial assets, while others involve children and are emotionally charged or even violent.

In any case, divorce represents one of the most difficult periods in everyone’s life. Undergoing divorce poses multiple challenges—emotional, financial, and legal.

Regardless of the intimacy between you and your spouse, ending a marriage can be emotionally devastating. That is especially true if children are involved. Watching their parents divorce can leave deep emotional scars and negatively affect children’s well-being.

The financial aspects of divorce are not less stressful. Instead, the focus is on dividing and distributing marital property. That can be a burdensome process, especially in high-net divorces, involving investments, valuable collections, stocks and bonds, multiple real estate properties, professionals, and family businesses.

The complexity of divorce from a legal standpoint depends on which divorce method you choose. For example, opting for litigation puts additional stress on an already challenging life event. Undergoing complex litigation can last for years, and the expenses add up during each phase of the case. Most importantly, the court process is not set up for achieving long-term positive goals such as effective co-parenting.

See below how traditional and alternative divorce processes differ and how a collaborative divorce attorney can help you experience a less stressful divorce.

Litigating a Divorce is Painful.

Divorcing in court is a traditional way to end a marriage. Before alternative dispute resolution methods appeared, litigation was the only way to dissolve a marriage—despite its numerous flaws. Litigation is an adversarial process involving two opposite parties fighting over who wins the case. That battle can often mean a struggle between the parties and their attorneys, each representing the other in a bad light.

Naturally, fighting for financial compensation in court does not contribute to any long-term positive goals. The process is public, so unless the court file is sealed, everything parties share in court (often following court orders) becomes publicly available. It is unusual for a divorce case file to be sealed and there have to be compelling reasons. Since divorces involve disclosing sensitive personal information, the publicity of litigation can only make things worse—ruining reputations and leaving emotional scars on children.

In addition to the emotionally draining aspects of litigation, divorce in court is a timely and costly enterprise. Proving divorce allegations in court is a burdensome process consisting of the discovery phase, including written discovery and often depositions, followed by trial, which includes opening statements, witness testimonies, and closing arguments. Sometimes, expert witnesses are necessary. Strict evidence rules and the involvement of attorneys and experts result in an enormous financial strain and a loss of time.

As a contentious and adversarial, victory-oriented process, litigation further disrupts relationships between former spouses, including their relatives and friends. Additionally, an adversarial process negatively affects children, who suffer the most. That is because their parents’ relationship is ruined during months and years of court battles, making them incapable of engaging in productive co-parenting. Often the children are also involved more directly, through testimony or custody evaluations by mental health professionals and guardians.

Alternative Methods

On the other hand, out-of-court methods provide the simplicity and effectiveness that litigation lacks. The collaborative approach offers multiple advantages with the right collaborative divorce attorney. Likewise, mediation can provide you with many benefits. Anna Krolikowska is both a collaborative divorce attorney and a certified mediator, and can talk to you about the two different approaches so that you can choose the right approach for you.

A Collaborative Approach to Divorce

The collaborative process focuses on cooperation between the divorcing spouses and their collaborative divorce attorneys. Each spouse is represented by a collaborative divorce attorney working together towards an out-of-court settlement. It is not possible for an attorney to represent both spouses in any divorce proceeding, regardless of which divorce process you use, because of the inherent conflicts. The collaborative divorce attorneys, like Anna Krolikowska, are trained as mediator and trained in collaborative divorce process and utilize their skills to help you reach a collaborative divorce agreement that works best for you and your family.

After signing a representation agreement, both parties commit to conducting themselves in good faith, using their best efforts to settle. The collaborative divorce attorney cannot represent the same client in litigation if the collaborative divorce ends unsuccessfully. That is because they have had a much greater access to their client’s spouse in a collaborative divorce process than in any other type of a divorce process. In addition, in a collaborative process the parties agree to disclose all material information and accurately represent the facts.

The key to these collaborative divorce process rules is creating an atmosphere of trust and enabling a free flow of information. Because the collaborative law process is confidential, collaborative divorce attorneys encourage their clients to have full transparency by holding four-way conferences and multiple open negotiating sessions.

Unlike litigation lawyers who engage in adversarial court battles representing opposite sides, collaborative divorce attorneys closely cooperate in bringing about positive outcomes, while representing the best interests of their respective clients. As a result, they often work in a much more collegial and efficient way, but that should not confuse you because collaborative divorce process is all about cooperation, and collaborative divorce attorneys focus their practices at connecting people and overcoming disputes.

Divorce Mediation

Mediation, as an alternative dispute resolution method, involves a neutral third party facilitating the negotiations between the spouses. The mediator, often an attorney, conducts private sessions, allowing the spouses to open up about their feelings and talk sincerely about disputed issues. Often, collaborative divorce attorneys are also certified mediators, which allows them to see things from different perspectives and combine the best of both worlds, which allows them to be hired as either a collaborative attorney or a mediator in a particular case.

Mediation can involve either group mediation sessions, with both parties present, or private mediation sessions. In private mediation sessions (caucuses), the parties talk confidentially with the mediator, disclosing their arguments and negotiation goals. The mediator goes back and forth between the session rooms, trying to estimate the strength of their claims and the likelihood of settling. They are not allowed to disclose what the other party revealed unless authorized. In open sessions, the parties gather to discuss disputed matters, bringing offers and counteroffers. The mediator cannot resolve the dispute, or give legal advice. They generally tried to guide the couples towards reaching their own solutions. Mediators must remain neutral throughout the process, facilitating negotiations between the parties and encouraging them to settle.

The Common Benefits of Collaborative Divorce and Mediation

Confidentiality

Like collaborative divorce, mediation is confidential, meaning spouses, collaborative professionals and the mediator cannot reveal information shared during collaborative or mediation sessions. That applies to future litigation if collaborative divorce or mediation ends without success.

Sense of Control

Both collaborative law and mediation provide the parties with a greater sense of control than any litigated divorce. Unlike the court process where judges impose their binding decisions, parties in collaborative divorce and mediation have control over the process and the outcome.

Resolution

As non-adversarial tools, collaborative divorce and mediation help the couple to process the dispute at a deeper emotional level, bringing genuine resolution and building productive co-parenting relationships.

The Use of Expert Teams

Experts are invaluable in every divorce process, offering help with complex financial issues and providing psychological assistance to the spouses and the children. Financial specialists and appraisers help resolve matters such as real estate valuation or determining the value of an ownership interests in the family business. In addition, child psychologists offer much-needed assistance to children undergoing a stressful divorce, ensuring they come out of the divorce without unnecessary emotional trauma and psychological burdens.

In litigation, experts play a much greater role than in collaborative divorces or mediation. In litigation, each party hires an expert who testifies before a judge in an adversarial procedure. The judges decides which experts and what testimony is more convincing. Often the litigated divorce becomes a battle of the experts with the commensurate, i.e. expensive bill.  Contrarily, in collaborative divorce and mediation, when needed, parties often retain a single, neutral, expert in a particular field. Experts provide findings, information and data points, helping the parties to understand complex issues. They are neutral and unbiased, providing the parties, collaborative divorce attorneys, and mediators with accurate factual information regarding the case. The divorcing couple decide what weight to give the information they received from the experts, and what settlement agreements they want to reach. The divorcing couple decides their future.

A Collaborative Divorce Attorney That Can Help

Anna P. Krolikowska is a collaborative divorce attorney and a certified family mediator in Illinois.

With years of experience in resolving family disputes in an out-of-court setting, Ms. Krolikowska offers a unique approach to dealing with marital disputes.

As a collaborative divorce attorney, she will represent their clients diligently, working shoulder-to-shoulder with the opposing collaborative divorce attorney. As a mediator, she offers neutrality and impartiality in facilitating your negotiations. Contact Anna to see how she can help you in your divorce.

Please reach out today to schedule a consultation at 847-715-9328.